From adolescence into adulthood, mental health wasn’t a readily discussed topic in her family. 

“We were very noncommunicative growing up regarding harder or negative feelings.” 

When she left home for University in Pennsylvania to play soccer, she didn’t have the tools to handle the adversity she was about to face. 

Her freshman year was impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic, which canceled her lacrosse season. At the same time, she experienced a difficult breakup from her first serious relationship. It was during this period she was diagnosed with depression. 

“I was told I was just always going to deal with depression through my entire life, and it will just get really bad sometimes and I used to really believe that. I believed I was just always going to be a little bit less than everyone else,” McGroarty said. “There were just going to be pockets in my life that I was just going to have to deal with.” 

At the same time as all of this, burnout hit hard when the soccer season was moved to spring due to Covid. Strained relationships with teammates led to harassment, leaving her feeling alienated. Walking onto the lacrosse team gave her a sense of belonging, and it was during this time she opened up to her father about her struggles for the first time. Expecting a response from the man that had been her tough-as-nails coach, she was surprised to hear back about his personal struggles. 

“He opened up and said he has had some of these struggles too and still does to this day, and honestly just hearing someone I thought was indestructible go soft, knowing how difficult that was for him, I took that as an act of love to be that vulnerable for me. I really relate to him, I see myself as my dad a lot.” 

But in her sophomore year, the cracks started to show and McGroarty’s mental health took a severe downturn. She reached out for professional help with online counseling during the summer but struggled to get an appointment with a therapist. 

“I got left on read by three therapists, and it got to the point where I didn’t even want to go anymore. I had to open up which I hated doing, filling out questionaries about extremely personal questions, some of which I lied about because of how specific they were. Then after filling out these checklists for over 5 professionals on different occasions, nothing.” 

These negative experiences left a bad taste in her mouth about mental health resources that continued to linger until the following year. 

“At my previous school, soccer was fine other than feeling like I wasn’t getting what I deserved. But other than that, all my issues stemmed from off the field and that carried into the sports.” 

Her struggles with anxiety, depression, and severe burnout began taking a physical toll. Despite asking for help, McGroarty felt unheard. 

“If I did advocate for myself no one believed me or would take me seriously Like I’d say I’m struggling, and they would just say it gets better or it’s OK,” she said. “Sometimes I even feel like I got blamed for it.” 

When nothing was being done for her by adults, her roommate stepped in, texting her parents to explain how serious things had become. 

“I should have been removed from school,” she said. “But it felt like my soccer performance and academic career were put ahead of me.” 

She notes her understanding for her parents for not removing her because this was the first time they had to deal with a situation like this, and most parents fortunately don’t have to go through what they did. 

Exhausted, isolated and disillusioned, McGroarty decided just a few games into her junior season that she would transfer. She entered the transfer portal and moved to Iowa, seeking a fresh start. 

“I didn’t realize how much my life was going to change. I felt going to Iowa that I had been healed and I had a mirror held up to my face showing how other people live their life and how I should live mine, I was like wow, I have a lot of holes that I have to work on”. 

Despite her cynicism toward mental health care after past experiences, Iowa’s process surprised her. 

“I didn’t want to go out of my way to find help. I wanted someone to go out of their way to help me for once,” she said. 

All it took was an email and a text to get her connected with sports psychologist Aubrette Kinne, whom McGroarty describes as life changing. With her preexisting diagnoses of depression and anxiety, she was newly diagnosed with hyperactive and inattentive ADHD at 22. 

“The diagnosis itself took a lot of weight off my shoulders,” she said. 

Anxiety manifested physically in symptoms such as gagging and even seizures—issues she continues to manage. This new understanding, and a toolbox of learned coping skills, became crucial as she faced new challenges at Iowa. 

McGroarty arrived in the spring and rediscovered her passion for soccer. Though she lost her starting spot a few games into the season, she regained it by the Big Ten Tournament. 

I put a lot of pressure on myself growing up,” she said. “So, if I wasn’t getting goals and assists or starting, my self-worth felt low. I felt I only got love when I earned it.” 

With her therapist’s support, she learned to detach self-worth from performance. She finished the season strong, scoring crucial goals in the postseason, including one in the NCAA Tournament, leading the team's attack as the Offensive MVP.  

Unfortunately, the offseason stress reaction in her back would limit her ability to participate in team activities, and as soon as she came back from that injury, another would pop up. Before warmups in the second game of the season she badly injured her ankle. This led to a chain of reinjury and rehab that would culminate in a lost season full of doubt and stress. 

Eventually, McGroarty applied for a medical redshirt to preserve eligibility for the next season. Her recovery was slow and full of setbacks. Just weeks ago, she feared her career was over when her back issues flared again. But today, for the first time in over a year, she was able to play without pain. 

With what she describes as the most difficult year of her life behind her, McGroarty is ready to make a statement in her final season. 

“I feel as though I am viewed as broken, and I am trying to shake that stigma,” she said. “I had built up all these tools and I had such great support that it truly wasn’t that bad. In fact it was one of if not my favorite season so far, and I was on the bench with my redshirt.” 

Finding silver linings has been crucial. 

“My therapist turns the negative things around and helps me see the positive,” McGroarty said. 

Her family now talks openly about mental health. Even during time lost to injuries, she bonded with teammates and made meaningful memories. 

“Every struggle you go through has positives in it,” she said. “Whether it’s a bad breakup or an injury, you’re learning resiliency. Even from the smallest struggles you are getting stronger, and you grow from it, and what I have loved most about overcoming my struggles is that you can help someone else. There is always a positive if you look for it. It’s all about the perspective you choose. I went from having one of the worst seasons of my life to having one of my best.” 

Looking back on everything she has endured, McGroarty wouldn’t change a thing. 

“This year taught me that my worth doesn’t come from performance, and I was very loved,” she said. “It was one of my favorite seasons and I didn’t step foot on the field.  

When asked what she would say if she could talk to her younger self she said, “I probably wouldn’t say anything—I’d just give her a hug and listen.”